"I can cure your illness."

I see him sometimes when I buy groceries at the vegetable truck, he is an old man with white hair and a long white beard, leaning heavily on his cane due to the effects of time and osteoporosis. One day we are both out buying groceries when he takes one look at me and says, "I can cure your illness." Not your standard greeting, you might say.

What prompted Old White's sudden healing prophecy? Well, the several large and quite painful zits that had mysteriously appeared on my chin. This is where I have to explain that Chinese people do not feel that a person's breakouts are a taboo subject, and when you do have a breakout you are guaranteed to be asked several times a day "What's wrong with you?" and "Why do you have that zit?" They feel they are expressing their concern for you. It usually makes me feel like cutting eye holes in a paper bag, but I try to be gracious and have finally discovered that "not enough sleep" is an acceptable explanation for a breakout, and will offer that reason. In truth, I think the hot and humid weather plus air pollution and probably the occasional rogue hormone are to blame.

Old White didn't ask any questions, he just jumps right to a solution saying he could give me some herbal Chinese medicine that would cure me. He returns five minutes later, not with bags of dried herbs like I expected, but with samples of these plants:


The one growing with my aloe is called a "Stone Lily" (I didn't have another pot and figured succulents could go together) and the other, translated from the Chinese name, is a "Purple Thousand Year Plant". He directs me to start with the purple plant; to take two leaves, cut them up and boil them, then drink the soup. I can also eat the leaves if I want, but it isn't necessary. I do this for 10 days, then I switch to the Stone Lily. I am supposed to eat 20 Stone Lily leaves a day. That's a lot of leaves, yo. Perhaps noticing my apprehension, he tells me that both of these plants are very common and can be found anywhere. Apparently I am to raid my neighbors' gardens to rid myself of this illness.

So I thank him and take my booty home. I stuck the little Stone Lily in with my aloe and had aspirations of going to buy myself a Purple Thousand Year Plant, but never really got around to it. Then my chin improved on its own, the way zits will.

Today I saw Old White at the vegetable truck again. He asked me if things were better. I told him they were. I didn't tell him I hadn't yet made it a daily habit of snacking from my or anyone else's garden. He then says that I need to keep up the treatments for a long time, at least half a year (!), maybe longer (!!). He says that my illness (whatever that is, but I'm sure I have one) is very serious and hides deep in the body, and explains you have to grab it when it comes out a little bit, and keep grabbing.

Now I don't want to sound like I'm poo-pooing Chinese medicine. In truth I think it's wonderful, probably a better approach than Western medicine's knock 'em down and drag 'em out methods. Once I get my hands on large quantities of the Purple Thousand Year Plant and Stone Lily I plan on trying them out. I just don't feel like my illness is quite serious enough to do night raids on the potted gardens in the area, and my poor little Stone Lily doesn't quite look up to the task of providing me with 20 leaves a day for the next 6 months. When (if) I do start I'll update you on any progress, or at the very least how things taste.