One of Jason’s classmates invited us over to have dinner with his family on Chinese New Year. As a way of saying thank you we brought back a little gift of candy from Hualian. This is the conversation I had with the classmate’s wife, Meng-li, when I brought the candy.
Meng-li: (Opens door) Oh, Hi Kristie!
Kristie: Hello! We just got back from Hualian, and we wanted to give you this candy from Rui Shui Farm.
Meng-li: Oh, thank you, but we already have lots of candy here. You keep it and let Ellie eat it!
Kristie: (thinking, “Forget Ellie, I’ll eat it myself, this stuff is pretty good.”) No, no, no, we really appreciate you cooking dinner for us and inviting us over to celebrate Chinese New Year. We wanted to say thank you.
Meng-li: But it was nothing to have you for dinner, and we had planned to sing songs, but my daughter had a migraine that night so we had to leave early and I was worried about her instead of being a good host. And we do already have so much candy. (probably true, a lot of candy giving goes on at Chinese New Year)
Meng-li’s son: (calling from inside the house) What kind? What kind of candy is it?
Kristie: (thinking, “Hmm…I hate to give her candy if she doesn’t want it, and I wouldn’t mind having it myself….But no! We have to give a gift to say thank you for dinner, she just has to accept it.”) Please, you helped make Chinese New Year special for us, we had a wonderful time visiting with you and we wanted to thank you.
Meng-li: (finally takes the candy) Okay, okay. Thank you for thinking of us while you were in Hualian.
It wasn’t until after I got home that I remembered that refusing a gift from someone is just the polite standard in Chinese culture. SO glad I didn’t bring that candy back with me.
It wasn’t until just now, as I wrote this, that I remembered I was supposed to say (about my gift), “But this is just a little thing, it’s really nothing at all.” *Sigh* perhaps I’ll get it right next time.
And, a note to my Chinese readers: It’s probably not a good idea to refuse a gift of candy from a pregnant American woman. If I hadn’t heard her son calling I might have believed that she didn’t want it, left with that candy and eaten it myself.
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