I started taking yoga classes again last week. Four classes in four days. It turns out what they say is true: going for 18 months without doing any real exercise to speak of (aside from walking to do errands and toting my children around, that is) really will turn your muscles into mush.
I am S-O-R-E. I wanted to write about starting up yoga sooner but my brain has been too busy processing the lactic acid built up in my muscles.
Now, I only took a few yoga classes back home so I may not be a true expert, but there is a difference between Chinese yoga teachers and western yoga teachers. American yoga teachers say things like, “Only do what feels comfortable,” and “You should feel a gentle stretch.” Chinese yoga teachers say things like, “Let it ache a little,” and ”You are going to curse me when we are finished.”
Did I mention I am sore?
Hoping to be able to move in the morning, I decided I should take a soak in the hot tub after my yoga classes. My gym has a very wonderful women-only spa that offers a hot tub, cold tub, sauna and steam room. Women-only, of course, means no bathing suits.
I find this slightly disconcerting, but it’s the norm in Asia and I try to roll with it as I do many disconcerting Asian customs. So I go in, hang up my towel, and try to act all being-naked-in-front-of-all-you-strangers-is-no-big-deal.
Of course, my desire to cross my arms is not helped one bit by the fact that the other ladies are checking me out. Not even very subtly, I might add.
And then they start commenting on my body!!!
Even after they know I can speak Chinese they keep commenting. Skin color, size, shape. And talking about me. And peering at me. While I am naked. (Which reminds me of another locker room experience I had several years ago…)
One of the ladies at the spa is also in my yoga class, so she helpfully informs everyone that I have three small children. They are amazed by this new revelation. And they have questions. Questions that I have to answer.
So who is taking care of your children while you are here at the gym? Oh! Your husband! That is amazing!
(Most Asian husbands don’t help out very much at home. This is improving with younger generations, but these ladies are mostly in their 50s or older.)
Now, Jason is fully capable of taking care of all three of our children by himself, but this yoga class is a 9pm—well after bedtime—which means he is more guarding than tending the little ones.
This little factoid creates yet another onslaught of questions.
So what time do your kids go to bed? 7:30!!! And they sleep until morning??? Un-be-lievable.
(Most Taiwanese children, even young ones, go to bed after 10pm.)
It was as though they had just noticed a third arm growing out of my back. The news starts spreading through the spa.
Hey Joanie, come check out this foreigner! Her kids go to sleep at 7:30 and don’t wake up until morning!….What? Really? I’ve gotta see this for myself!
Which means I have to tell my story over and over and over. And everyone in the spa is looking at me. And I’m NAKED.
Not the most relaxing spa experience.
Oh my goodness, you just can’t make this stuff up! Your muscles may be aching, but your will and your mind are strong. Living the nightmare of being naked in public, everyone staring and pointing, and going back for more. You are now a rock star at the spa!
Good to hear from you again.
I LOVE this story… Oh MY GOODNESS… it is such cringe factor material, but heck, you’re a mother of three… it’s all been out there before… HA! Jason is probably cracking up and sending you out to yoga all the more just for the funny stories! Just don’t let the ladies down by telling them that the kids woke up in the middle of the night to use the toilet by themselves! HA!
Hilarious!!! I have had the same “naked in the gym and everyone is staring at me” experience in China, and I always get the same incredulity when I tell people my kids go to bed at 7:30 and sleep all.night.long, but I’ve never experienced both at the same time! Can’t stop giggling about this!
I agree with Jen. Three kids definitely make a difference and there is a reason that milestone birthday has a reputation.
HA! I did it once years ago. Never again. I didn’t know you couldn’t wear a swimsuit until I had passed the point of no return.
oh MAN! My worst nightmare. Again in situations like these, thankful I don’t understand the language. Wait a second…I would never find myself in a “naked and surrounded by curious Taiwanese ladies” situation! Because I don’t have even a quarter of the guts that you have!
I love that you endured this all and were even able to find the humor and share it online.
Ha…I went back the next day!
Kristie, thanks for being willing to share on this experience so honestly. I was determined to join the gym that is opening by my home, but if I do, I really don’t plan to be using the spa. I’m not as brave as you!
It’s worth it, the spa is soooo nice.
I surely hope so!!
Augh. That’s like some type of awkward Asian skin soup.
The onsen is the same here… except my girls love to go with me… thankfully I don’t understand all the surrounding comments! And having my little naked girls scoot from hot pool to cool pool to hot pool is not the most relaxing spa experience either!!! But it is sooooo nice in this frigid weather.
Kristie,
I laughed out loud reading this post just now. And I needed it. But with that said, what an experience!! It kinda makes me want to cringe and cry just reading it, and you really lived it. BUT, I am so glad you shared this wonderful gem of a story for us all to read!
Way to be brave in the hot-tub!!
oh man, kristie, you have guts, and you are STRONG. i don’t think i can ever do the naked spa thing. it’s also a very korean-thing to do, korean naked spas are pretty popular here…my mother in law has tried making me go with her, and i have refused every single time. i don’t even want my own mom to see me naked, definitely not my mother in law.